Monday, October 12, 2009

We Were Suppose To Grow Old Together!

I dreamt last night  I walked into a room, and there she sat, in a chair, waiting to explain everything to me. Overcome with joy and sadness, "How could you leave me? We were suppose to grow old together!" I cried as I knelt by the chair.

She looked at me and reached out, "I know, I know, I just didn't know, I felt a little like I was gonna throw up, kept thinking I needed to get up, I was sooo tired.........."

Then I wake from my dream. I'm upset. I wasn't finished. There was so much I wanted to ask her. I want to know what happened! Was she in pain? Did she take anything? What was she thinking about as she drifted off? Could she hear us? See us at the hospital? Did she see the hundreds of people who came to show their love for her? What is it like? What am I to do, now? We were suppose to grow old together! We were going to out live our husbands, see all our children married, successful and happy.

We were going to spend our golden years somewhere tranquil ( the beach) or maybe travel (if our health held up, which wasn't likely) laughing our asses off at all the things we had done over the years. We always laughed big belly laughs, good for the soul. Will I ever laugh like that again? We were suppose to grow old together- now it's just me- I don't know how to do this.

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