Monday, October 19, 2009
I visited her grave today, for the first time. I was certain I knew exactly which hill she lay and which tree would give her shade. But as I got out of my car, I saw nothing but old, artificial flower vases lining the landscape. Although pretty, they were not the new, the fresh, the big bouquets of flowers or greenery I was sure would grace her new grave. I was certain flowers would cover it; Surely, I would still see the mound of earth that was still just a little bit greener and rounder than the others. But my eyes sought out the flowers that I knew had to be there. After all there were hundreds, more than 500 people they say, who came to pay their respects; family overcome with loss, friends untold; it was her 23rd anniversary yesterday............Of course there would be flowers, fresh, new flowers! I crested the hill and walked up to a barren grave, a dry patch of grass, with no marker and THERE WERE NO FLOWERS! No remnants left over from the funeral to show, no empty vases, only a few discarded white cards that must have come off of some arrangement somewhere. It was obvious, maybe, that the grounds crew had cleaned up the old, dead flowers,as they are suppose to do. And I realized the winter is setting in and so the grass will turn brown and die. The marker is being made and not there yet but there were still no flowers. Nothing. Nada. No sign that my beloved friend who lit up my world was resting there. So I left and went to the nearest store and I bought a bouquet of purple flowers and I took them and I lay them on her grave. Today she has flowers.